Men and strong women… ever thought about how that goes. It can be a slippery slope, but it’s worth thinking about.  You may use your relationship with a man as an excuse to hold back your power.  Women are are trained to defer or behave a certain way around your men, so it takes some reflection to see who you’re being – strong or not so strong.

Of late, it’s become crystal clear to me that being a strong woman can mean that who you are relating with may not be actually strong enough, or man enough to stand next to the woman he’s chosen.  He isn’t faulty for that, but it’s important to understand what the signs of that disparity are.

Here’s what can happen with men and strong women…

One; your strength could be misunderstood and viewed as someone who is actually weak for being vulnerable, generous, and forgiving.  When you are capable, and take care of your life, your man may feel like he has to “one up” you.  It could be that he treats you poorly, withholds information from you, or criticizes you.  It could even mean that he spends a good deal of time building a case against you, and accuse you of confining him. Stand up to this, trust your instincts, know that what you are feeling may very well be true, and challenge him.  If he is truly a man, he will meet you there, and become even more of who he is.

Two;  When you are willing to stand firm on what you know to be true, and expect your mate to behave the same way, he may conveniently forget that he is the other half of the equation.  You are not required to hold up the entire structure of your relationship, he has a part in it too.  In the cultural paradigm we live in today women take far too much responsibility for relationship.  Being a strong woman gives your man the ability to live into his power, and remain in relationship with that, and you.

Three;  Know when to leave.  This hurts, because you also love him, but you aren’t doing him or you any favors.  When you are in a relationship with someone who is making you wrong, won’t discuss what’s going on for him, withholds information, or blames you for being over sensitive – it’s just a matter of time before he could do something cruel and/or betray you and the love you’ve shared with him.  Be strong enough to know when it’s time to exit, and do it.  Regardless of who ends a long term relationship there will be pain.  Better for it to be clean and uncluttered with other people, dishonesty or cowardly behavior on either part.  Your strength will give you and your lover an opportunity to release each other with compassion, gratitude and love.

You are responsible for yourself.  Loving someone does not mean that you should get small around them, or put them on a pedestal.  Because you are powerful, look for men who are your equal.  There out there, and they are a lot of fun!

Cheers,

The Queen