hermitage6-lovers.JPGI’ve heard it said that feminists hated men, and were not prone to wanting love or sex… both activities are subjugation at it’s finest….

Having been a feminist for over 30 years, AND a mother of 5, I always wondered what that was all about.

Admittedly, being a heterosexual woman was at times frowned upon by some of my lesbian acquaintances, but never was there any thought or comment that women who wanted equal rights, protection from abuse, or pay commensurate with work provided weren’t open or wanting of intimate relationships, love or sex.

What is true, though, is the amount of energy women tend to put into their primary relationships OR getting into one. Personally, I would say that’s true. The better part of my life has been devoted to maintaining my relationships with a significant other. I gave up finishing college due to pregnancy, and marriage sort of tied that noose completely.

Also, I have given up many years of professional success due to the overwhelming amount of work required to raise said 5 offspring, which in a way is a result of my marriage… so I believe that the energy expending on the relationship probably outlasted the relationship, itself.

Jessica Valenti, founder of feministing.com, a very articulate and intelligent woman puts it very well….

“If I’d spent half the energy on my career and school stuff as I did on my relationships, I’d probably be the fucking president by now.”

I agree with her… yet, I don’t have any regrets about my success in relationship. My marriage provided me with a wealth of children, and a learning ground for profound understanding about how to run businesses and juggle family – but I will not say that I was acting the part of true feminism at that time.

In my current relationship of 11+ years, I’ve been fully feminist, more honest about my feelings, and desires, and far more interested in working together to make the relationship vital and supportive. So I heartily agree with this article by Libby Brooks titled “Feminism and Romantic Love Make Very Happy Bedfellows” and suggest you take a look.

Rain persists here on the coast… and I’m enjoying the fact that I have a roof over my head, and a beautiful man in my bed.