Change is the only constant in life, that much is true.
As I wake up to truth, there are many things that I took for granted before that I can no longer depend on. I used to feel that I could control my life, now I know that I can’t… I can only appreciate and experience it. Controlling conditions around me gave me a sense that I was “safe”, yet I was constantly met with situations that challenged my sense of control repeatedly.
There’s a humility within this awareness. We are all trying so hard to control things that we tend to miss the opportunities that are provided for us constantly and with incredible generosity. Growth and change happens with or without our consent. We can either love it or hate every minute of it… We can go happily and with gratitude or with pain and suffering… regardless of “how” we go… we are still going to change.
Many years ago my marriage of 15 years ended. At that time, I knew I had to do something to provide for my kids so I opened a little grocery store and deli in Telluride, Colorado. It was my new “baby” and I loved my little store. But after a year and a half of working my tail off, I cut my losses (considerable losses) and moved to California. In truth, I could have continued with my business… but my kids were suffering. I was working over 14 hours a day and raising them alone… it just wasn’t possible.
My kids were by far the most important aspect of my life for so many reasons… I loved them, enjoyed their company and grew a lot being their mother. They also provided me with an opportunity to leave a mark in the world… raise good people and they will give back to the world.
With that in mind I packed up the kids, their animals, toys and gear, emptied out two houses and a huge store full of stuff and moved. I honestly didn’t know where I would go other than closer to their father. That’s how we ended up back where I was raised. California.
For a decade, I’ve raised my kids, provided astrological services, coached people individually and trained members of numerous businesses. It’s been rich, tiring and not in line with the fullness of my own being. So, without my conscious consent… everything shifted.
No matter how much I tried to fit into the world, I never could. I see things differently than most. My energy is fierce, tender and profoundly loving. My abilities are specific and unusual, but I have never been comfortable labeling it, even though I really did try to. Now I just can’t.
Through it of it, I’ve discovered something essential. I am the center of my life. Not my children, my partner, my clients, my siblings … anyone other than me.
The freedom I have now is incredible. Once I had to leave behind everything I thought was important, I realized that I’m unto myself and having a love affair with Spirit … Prior to all this “unwanted” change, it seemed more important to serve others then the truth of my own being. It all shifted… and I had no control within it, other then to accept it and develop some faith in the process my life was offering.
Change just happens. Mastery in life mean simply loving all that occurs; embracing it as what is happening and forgetting the “story” about it completely. It’s clear that in order to experience true contentment and success in life, all that’s required is to simply witness and appreciate life no matter what it provides.
All of it.
At the very center of my own shift is an ability to “hear” my clients’ deepest voice and translate that message directly to them. That and the profound awareness that change is all that is consistent… that and love.
Transformation and change isn’t something that we orchestrate. It simply happens and it occurs because on some deep level we asked for it.