Compassion is a state of being where your thoughts & actions are with others and your perception of their struggles and/or suffering. Where your life is full of meaning and service towards those around you, where your goals include providing comfort to others.
As women, we are hardwired to be considerate of others, serve others, provide for others. But, I’ve noticed that younger women are less inclined to consider their impact on others as much as my generation.
I’m unclear why this appears to be true; if it has something to do with the cultural shifts regarding women, but I’m clear that there is a shift. Many of the blogs and sites I’ve viewed the past few years that are authored by women, can be full of narcissistic and meaningless expressions of life.
What to wear, who to date, who not to date, what to eat, what not to eat… pretty boring stuff. Then there’s the woman who’s become a mother and she sounds like she’s the first woman to ever have a child AND appears to be an expert on the subject within weeks of giving birth.
Are we losing something in the current culture? I mean have we gained a sense of independence and autonomy, only to find ourselves missing out on a valuable aspect of being female?
If you’ve been following my work for any length of time you’ll know that I teach “selfishness”. The Amazon way is a path of self empowerment and expression. The only caveat is that within the natural tendencies we possess as women, we have choices as to how to extend said qualities with a deeper understanding of the value of self orientation. Being too focused on others, or focused on others without a profound concern for self is not recommended.
Being a feminist has been a journey for me that includes being self oriented. It’s a movement that provides a rich tapestry of possibility for everyone. Things like; being connected to providing for the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, ending violence and war.
All those goals include at their center, compassion. The actual definition of compassion reads like this:
“Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.”
Being female is a remarkable thing. We are inherently compassionate, but it appears to be being bred out of us. How can you be autonomous AND retain your natural inclination to provide tenderness and meaning to those around you?
When you work your butt off to make it in the world and you have to be a hard ass about everything or lose your edge, you haven’t become a feminist you’ve become something like a man. I’m not bashing men here, simply stating that the difference between men and women does include the male’s determination to be more expressed and aggressive. Testosterone, I believe is the cause of that, and serves the instinct to provide and protect his offspring.
When you whittle everything humans do down to the basic instinct that drives that behavior, you’ll see that EVERYTHING is relative to survival. That said, being compassionate is a valuable instinct especially if you extend it first to yourself before you start offering it to others.
Wonder if you were to investigate your life a bit and what you are focused on. Are you only focused on your body, hair or image? Maybe its your position in your workplace, or how other people view you.
If your focus on yourself is surface oriented, you will find that purpose becomes an idea and not a lifestyle. If you focus on yourself in such a way where you consider everything as a function of your own creative process, including being around others who are in need, you may discover that your concerns about life shift dramatically.
I’m not suggesting that you should not be concerned about your appearance or enjoy dressing up or even having a companion that’s delicious. What I am suggesting is not to throw out your natural inclination to add value to your community at the same time you are self oriented.
When women offer more consistent depth with their expressions of their life, we will see a dramatic shift in the cultural paradigm. We are natural leaders and we listen to each other, watch what others are doing and often model our behavior by what we see going on around us.
Post something other than other people’s ideas, photos and videos… cultivate your own. Post more than one cryptic line that is generally unclear. State your truth as you know it. Risk being made “wrong” by your contemporaries. Start a new trend instead of following the self proclaimed leader.